Hello Me... I finally found you.

by Jane
(New Zealand)

I spent most of my life wondering what my purpose on this earth is. One of my biggest fears in life is - lying on my death bed at the ripe old age of 90 and thinking 'what if'. There have been so many times when I have cried to God for an answer as to why I just didnt get most things and why I found it such a challenge to learn. Why did I find it so hard to learn the simplist things...why why why! Its funny how a turn of events can influence your life and open your eyes to new beginnings and startling revelations. I was about to begin a diploma this year and the day before my first class started my life was turned upside down. Two of my family members needed my help to sort their lives out and within two weeks, I had pulled out of the studies I never actually got to start because of the delimma I had to face over my relatives. During this time, I happened to be surfing the internet for info on mental illnesses and learning disabilities for my relatives, I happened to come across this webpage. Not realizing what was about to happen, I did the quiz. I did it again and again..and again as I was sure I was ticking the wrong boxes. To my shock, I finally (praise Jesus!) found out why I found learning such a bloody mission! The realization that I had a learning disability such as dyslexia really hit home for me big time. I sat at my workstation and cried because I was reading about me. What really annoyed me after was it took me almost 40yrs to find out! From the age of 8, basic arithmatic & comprehension became an absolute nighmare! Reading was a breeze, it was understanding what I just read the problem! Whatever I read, did not sink in for a very very long time. It got so bad, I hated reading. Not only because I didnt get it, but the words kept bloody moving or I spent so much time going back to the start of a sentence as I lost my spot or I just didnt understand what I was reading and so I lost interest! At work, I hated being asked a question because, even though I have all the knowledge, do you think I could bring what was in my brain out of my mouth straight away....hell no! I would deliberately tell people never to ask me a question as I couldnt think on my feet. God obviously knew I was too stupid to figure it out myself so brought the family onboard to distract me and quit the current papers I was about to start. He knew I would have probably quit the papers anyway because I struggled to get thru the last papers. He knew what my purpose in life was and knew I wouldnt be able to figure that out either. So He pointed me in the right direction. There is a God because He answered my prayers. He brought angels to guide me (my cousins), they brought with them problems that I had to work out myself (1st cousin - left her Schizophrenic husband, two small children, 2nd cousin attempted suicide twice). I kinda analysed their screwed up lives and made my own assessments and . Everything I advised them on was spot on correct. Their lawyers & councellors were surprised I had figured everything out assisting with their needs before they were able to assist via their professional assessments. So, because I think myself brainy now, I have applied to do a couple of papers at University in psychology to see how I go. With the help of this webpage, I am equipped with the knowledge that I can learn. It isnt going to be an easy ride, but just knowing that I am not alone and I am not after all stupid makes this new journey I am about to embark on exciting. I am looking forward to the challenges of learning the dyslexic way. And knowing what Gods plan is for me, makes life in every way worth living.

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