by Carie
(Phoenix,AZ)
I thought I would write myself a letter and not correct any of my spelling mistakes.
I was blessed to be hit with a double troubble being both Dyslexic and ADD. God does love me :)) ( have corrected normal typo's but no spelling, grammor or things spelled right to not be caught by spell check and words out of context)
As kids, I realize we all went through tough times. But being a grade school child and realizing you can not read, write and spell like all of your friends. First off, shame on our school system to but kids that you know have normal or above normal intelect and put in classes for the slow. I realize there are children out there who do need that and have my deepest empathy. Second, is your self estem takes a irreversible hit. The self dought is always there. How you feel about yourself and abilities exsists what seems forever. It was only when I exepted the fact I really do have what is labled as a disability, I think its just more of a struggle because of the positive things that come out of it. The worst is knowing your intelect is there, you can know a word when you hear it, know the definision of it, have a better vocabulary than most of your peers but have a dficult time spelling it or reading it out loud. I think the dificulty still exists while reading to your self but you are safe in your oun head to take time to sound it out with out being judged.
Nothing is ever gained by making a dyslexic child read out loud in class but that seemed to be the way my grade school teachers thought they could "crack the code". While I do believe practice works and has for me over the years, but it only works if given extra time a a feeling of security. The nightmare of 7th grade history still haunts me. Everyday through the year we had to read out loud in a round robin. I learned nothing while the other kids were reading. I had to stragicely plan what paragraph I had to read. Than I would read it over and over in my head and the angsity would build. Now well into adult hood I can laugh at the rest of the classes reaction. A third would be laughing at me, another thirds annoyed and a third being the sympathetic smart nerds who were picked on as well and would try to help me.
Thank you to my dad for saving most of my school reports cards. Alot I have blocked out of my head not wanting to remember and hiding from myself and the world. Same things said about me, just year to year and different teachers. Said" she is way behind in every subject, has the ablity to bed a good student but doesn't try, she has difficulty read out loud and to herself, she cant stay in her seat, she talks to much to other kids, she doesn't pay attention, her handwriting is bad, she daydreams, she doesn't listen or follow directions, very dificulty with spelling... what a suprize..lol), and her multiplication and division are way behind the class". The good was" she always has a smile, she can color better than the rest,and is a great story teller". Wow, and some teachers never did not see the big elephant in the room, just work harder. Filling paperwork, after the letter N, I have to say it to my self were like Q would go. I still really do not know times tables. I have 2 and 10 down good and 5 after 5 x 5 , that's when having 10 fingers really helps! Example: 7 x 8 = ( 8 7's- 7+7= 14 x 2=28 28 28+28=56!!!!. It works. I can add and subtract in my head and on paper better than Rain-man. The rest, than you god for spell check, Google, Word, the Smart Phone and something I just found out about called Ghotit. These all are truly a gift to help feel and be normal.
Once again thank you dad for teaching me so many things outside of reading and writing. He taught me all about animals, history, the environment, georaphy, and so many other things and taking me so many places. It gave me the knowledge most people did not have and that was a confidence booster. You don't ever want me on your team for Scrabble but Trivial Pursuit, I got this one! Let this be the best advice to any parent who has a child with learning dificulties. Rather than pound in the reading, writing, spelling and math, focus on outside of the box learning. More visual, audio and hands on. Some parents may know that their child is going through for their own struggles, but pacience and time mean the world! I was blessed both my daughters did not have any difficulties. My younger daughter graduated with a above 4.0 and helps we alot when I have to do things for my job.
It took me many tears and years to love and except my self. To be able to take praise from my peers when they tell me how great I am at certain things. To actualy tell people I'm dyslexic just steming from scars of rejection. I excell at coming up with creative solutions. I'm great at talking through problems. I'm great at marketing and sales. I have a true sence of love, patience and empathy for all other. I can always come up with a way to improve thing or make them more efecient. I'm a great cook and can make a whole meal out of what others would say"there is nothing here to eat". I pay extra attention when people talk, what they are saying and especialy to their name, which in business is a huge impressor. These are all dirived from basic survival skills I had to develope to make it out in the sometimes hard world. I have been blessed with so much that I love who I am, my children love me and my family and friends. I would not change a thing!! :))))